Amazon Anesthesia Allocution
by SepatownSon
Summary: An injured and delirious Wonder Woman lays everything on the table for Superman. 1 Shot


Superman tried his best to fly as smoothly as possible, as he tried not to cause Wonder Woman anymore pain. Her leg had been broken in multiple places. It was bad enough that he was at fault, and despite the fact that she didn't blame him, he didn't want to be the cause for any more pain.

Some mad scientist likely working for Lex Luthor created a robot programmed to attack the Justice League. Despite being made of a surprisingly dense alloy, it was a mere toy to the likes of Superman and Wonder Woman. However in disposing of the thing the two got their wires crossed a bit. As Clark grabbed the robot to suplex it through the concrete, Diana got a bit too close and her straightened leg caught the brunt of the slam and a nasty compound fracture was the unfortunate result.

Despite being the same weight as a normal human her size, Diana's bones were significantly more dense. It took colossal force to snap them. There was a short list of people powerful enough to cause such an injury to her, and Superman was at the top of it. While she could heal on her own, she was in excruciating pain so she ordered Superman to take her to Themyscira for a faster treatment.

As a man, he wasn't very welcomed there but as the Champion Amazon and the island's Princess, Diana's word carried enough weight to allow him there at least temporarily. She would demand he be allowed to accompany her, and if anyone had a problem with it they had to take it up with the Queen, the only other person who outranked Diana. And while she wouldn't be happy about it she would likely oblige her daughter's request. Particularly given the reason his presence was required.

Amazons were generally familiar with him, as he'd previously visited the island to assist her in rounding up a number of beasts that had escaped Doom's Doorway several years ago. However the simple fact that he was a male, meant that they didn't trust him.

"Which way?" Clark asked.

"Left, the building with the high walls." Diana said through gritted teeth. Clark had already set the bones, and said they were beginning to heal but it still hurt like hell. And the punctured skin created by the compound fracture was still bleeding.

"Alright. We'll be there in just a second."

As Superman touched down on the ornate marble walkway into the building Diana wailed in pain again. Apparently the force from his feet hitting the ground sent a shockwave through her leg.

The sounds of Diana's torment brought several out to see what the fuss was about. Luckily Diana recognized her immediately. "Charis, my leg is broken, get the purple ray!"

Charis paused at Superman's presence, and Diana sensed her trepidation at simply being near him. "Don't worry about him, help me!"

"Right away." Charis said, running inside while shouting to the others in Greek.

"Follow her." Diana demanded of Clark.

He lifted several inches off the ground and carried her into the examining room Charis led him to and laid her down on the table as gently as he could.

Epione, the island's chief healer came running in carrying the purple ray, which was a metal goblet with large handles that appeared to be anodized in a deep purple. It was a healing device that the Amazons used when more conventional methods didn't work.

Luckily, Epione wasn't deterred by Superman. He had the benefit of the doubt as far as she was concerned after he personally rescued her from a Minotaur during his last visit. Grateful for his help Epione learned to at the very least accept, Diana's friendship with him. In fact today, she was glad he was here. The last time Diana needed the purple ray she was a child. And while she was a handful then, she was much stronger as an adult. There was a possibility Diana would become uncontrollable without his strength.

"Superman, hold her steady. The purple ray, normally renders the patient unconscious but Diana is resistant to that. She'll be very disoriented and maybe uncooperative."

He complied by placing his hands on her upper arms, ready to keep her down if necessary. Meanwhile Diana tilted her head back and clenched her teeth she knew what was coming next.

The goblet began to glow a deep royal purple, and the light spilled onto the table before wrapping itself around Diana's injured leg and squeezing against it. Diana reached up and grabbed Clark's forearms reflexively clamping down on them with all her might trying to cope with the increase in pain. She also howled at the top of her lungs.

"It's alright. I've got you." Clark assured her. Her wrenching down on his arms hurt, but he suspected she was in more pain. He could take it.

The purple light caused her leg to twitch and jump involuntarily but the screaming slowed, and eventually Diana's eyes became glassy and she started to tilt her head back and forth almost in a daze. Eventually the death grip she had on his arms ended and her hands dropped to the table with a loud thud.

"You can let her go now." Epione instructed.

Clark released her and stepped around the table behind Diana's head while they worked on her more. He didn't really pay attention to what they were doing, he was more focused on Diana. Her breathing and her heart rate slowed and steadied. Suggesting she was asleep.

"Wha-What happened?" Diana said 5 minutes later with a heavily slurred voice.

" _Your leg was fractured._ " Epione answered in Greek.

"It was?" Diana answered in English.

" _Yes._ "

"How? What was I doing?"

" _I do not know_." said Epione.

"Oh." Diana answered as if that answer had proven sufficient.

Diana seemed to nod off to sleep for a second, but as quickly as she was out she was awake again. "How did I get here?"

" _Superman brought you._ "

"Superman? Are you sure?"

"Y _es, Superman_." Epione looked up at him, and nodded her head to indicate he was behind her but Diana didn't notice.

"Superman." Diana said again as if she were testing to see if she liked the name. "He's an idiot."

Clark immediately frowned in her direction, not expecting her to say such a thing. He'd expect it from Bruce but certainly not Diana.

But before he could defend himself Diana clarified her words. "I don't mean that, he's not an idiot. At least not all the time. But sometimes yes."

Diana was now completely out of it, because after briefly closing her eyes and opening them again she popped up in surprise. "How did I get here?"

" _Superman brought you._ " Epione repeated.

"Superman!" She shouted as if she had remembered him for the first time after years of blanking. "Mother is going to kill him."

" _No she won't. She does not even know he is here._ "

"Here? Where?"

" _Behind you._ " Epione instructed.

Diana turned her head to look for him, but didn't turn far enough to actually see him. However that didn't really matter, as she just said "Oh." And laid back down satisfied with her weak attempt to find him.

Clark didn't know what to make of any of it. Not once had he ever seen her without 100% of her wits about her. He had however seen her in pain, and she had a tendency to lash out. Her breathing however suggested she had just fallen asleep again in just those few seconds.

"Is she still in pain?" Clark asked.

"Very likely yes." Epione responded. "Her body will heal on its own in several days, the purple ray will heal her in hours, but it cannot stop the pain and it does not make her sleep. If she sleeps, she does so on her own."

"You want me to stay? In case she becomes too much?" Clark asked.

"As long as you're able. Surely Hippolyta has been informed of your presence by now, and if Diana cannot defend you..."

"Yeah, good point." He said, unfortunately he'd been so focused on Diana he wasn't listening for what else was happening around the island.

Once he began to listen he got ready for anything, Hippolyta was walking in right now. Subtlety he was preparing to zip out the window at a split second's notice. Hippolyta had access to any number of magic weapons that could cause him issue, luckily she wasn't fast enough to use them against him.

Hippolyta prepared herself for the possibility that Superman was still there. She knew Diana considered him a trusted friend. She couldn't quite decide how she felt about him, he was a man. An immensely powerful man at that. In her experience such men were never kind or docile by nature. They were only waiting for their moment to take advantage for themselves. However Diana assured her that he had no such cruelty in his heart. And when she briefly met him several years ago she didn't detect any either. She couldn't get a handle on him, and when she arrived in the room Diana was in he was standing right there.

Hippolyta glared at him, wondering if he was somehow at fault for her injury but she didn't say anything. Instead giving him the benefit of the doubt for now and focusing on her daughter. " _What has happened?_ "

" _Her leg had been broken in 3 places. He brought her here._ " Epione explained, while pointing to Superman in the corner.

Hippolyta placed her hand on Diana's face with the tender touch of a mother wishing she could take the pain away. Diana however felt the touch and cooed gently, turning to see who it was.

"Oh. It's you." Diana said, in a disappointed and still slurred tone. "Hi mom."

"Mom?" Hippolyta frowned in confusion, never once had Diana ever called her that.

"How did I get here?" Diana asked again, totally forgetting the earlier conversation.

"Superman brought you." Epione told her yet again.

"Why does everyone call him Superman? That's not his name." Diana tried to lift her head but it fell back. "He's an idiot."

"I thought you said he wasn't an idiot." Epione said, after seeing Superman's annoyed face again.

"Kal doesn't understand women, that's why he's an idiot."

Both Hippolyta and Epione gave her a puzzled look, both briefly looking to Superman who was smiling at the irony of the situation. However neither of them knew that he was the Kal she was talking about. As far as they knew, his name was Superman and Diana was currently talking nonsense.

"I don't get why he can't understand that she'll never love him."

"Who?" Hippolyta asked, clueless as to what Diana was talking about.

"Lois Lane." Diana said with a sing song like quality that indicated a disdain for the reporter. "She's an idiot too. I mean come on, glasses?"

Hippolyta decided that Diana was assuredly speaking nonsense, but decided to humor her to keep her calm. If she realized how much her leg actually hurt she might have a fit.

"The glasses, he fools everyone. Everyone is idiots, or are idiots or… not me, I'm smart." Diana looked away from her mother then back. "Mother, when did you get here?"

"Several moments ago." Hippolyta answered alarmed that she forgot so quickly. "We were just speaking seconds ago."

"Oh." Diana answered as if that meant something. "Anyway back to the story. Kal has a really nice face, but he lies. Not to me mind you, no one lies to me."

Hippolyta patted her shoulder. "Because you carry Hestia's lariat."

"I do?" Diana looked around in every direction but her hip for the lasso, even behind her but she still didn't turn far enough to see Clark. "Where am I?"

"Themyscira, in one of the healing rooms. Superman brought you here." Hippolyta said again, trying not to show that she was becoming annoyed.

"Oh right. Kal has been lying to her for years, women don't like to be lied to."

"No we don't." Hippolyta agreed on that front.

"But the worst part is that she doesn't love him. And she never will."

That got Clark's attention, he knew Diana was delirious but could she be onto something? Her hand was resting on the lasso of truth.

"No, she shouldn't love him, men don't deserve our love." Hippolyta played along.

"Yes they do!" Diana said defensively, moving her head aggressively towards her mother. "You're an idiot too! Kal deserves love, he deserves all of it!"

Hippolyta leaned back and looked to Superman who was ready to hold Diana down. She decided to play along for now, to keep Diana calm. "But not from her?"

"No not her, she's the worst. No she's not, she just doesn't… Why does my leg hurt?"

" _Your leg was broken_. _We're using the purple ray to heal it._ " Epione said, keeping her patience. But she too looked to Superman in case Diana started to freak out. She noticed that Superman stayed ready to assist, but had stayed silent and out of Diana's eyeline for some time now.

"Oh." Diana said again. "Ow. It hurts. Did I just say that?"

"Yes." Hippolyta stated flatly.

"I was talking about Kal wasn't I?"

"Yes, whoever Kal is." Hippolyta then turned to look at Superman, who didn't change his expression one bit. The queen figured that he probably didn't know either, Diana could very well be making this whole thing up.

"Kal is… I like his face. But he doesn't understand women, we don't like to be lied to. I understand women. I am woman."

"Yes you are, you're a beautif…" Hippolyta began but was cut off.

"Hear me ROAR!" Diana shouted loudly, causing both Epione and Hippolyta to jump in surprise.

Meanwhile Clark tried to keep himself quiet while simultaneously keeping himself from dying of laughter. He was the only one who understood the reference Diana just made.

Despite knowing this had entered into invasion of privacy territory some time ago, he really wanted to know what she thought about Lois. Even delirious, she was giving him more insight about his situation with Lois than she had in quite some time. As recently, she had begun refusing to advise him on the subject. At this point they'd have to chase him out of here with a magic sword.

"He's lied for… decades. Not decades but a long time. And when she finds out, bang." Diana imitated a small explosion with her hands. "And do you know why? Because he doesn't understand women."

"Because women are far too smart and complex for simple creatures like this Kal to understand." Hippolyta told her.

He didn't appreciate being trolled like that but didn't say anything. He kept quiet hoping Diana would spill more beans about him.

"We are." Diana agreed. "But you know men, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

"I disagree." Hippolyta stated flatly.

"As do I." Epione concurred, both spoke as if Superman weren't even there.

"I can live without them just fine." Hippolyta added.

"Speak for yourself. Something about a deep voice and chest hair, gets me every time." Diana added, her voice even more slurred than just a second before.

Clark hoped Diana would say more about him, but she didn't. She kept talking, but as she got more sleepy she got less and less coherent. When both he and Epione were confident she was resting comfortably he left. Hippolyta and Epione were all too happy to see him leaving, but deep down had been glad he was there in case Diana became too much for them.

As he flew towards Metropolis he couldn't help but wonder. Had Diana just been off her rocker and was saying words for the sake of saying words? Or did she just inadvertently drop a colossal truth bomb on him that meant he should reevaluate his relationships?

That was something he'd think about for quite some time.


End file.
